We don’t often think about our community except as something that is just there. It is somehow more than family and we may not necessarily engage with it very much. We don’t necessarily reflect on our part in it or what it means to us.  However, for many, the pandemic has changed all that. When our movement was restricted, our community became our local area, as we noticed others walking the same streets. When our connection could only be over the internet, our community consisted of people who shared common interests and ideas. Psychologists know that being part of a community can enhance mental health. Amanda Gordon, Psychologist at Armchair Psychology says, “Connection with our community is a crucial element of mental wellbeing. Not only can it offer extra meaning and purpose to our everyday life, it can also provide a sense of belonging in a world that sometimes can seem all too disconnected.” 

Being part of a community helps build and maintain connections that give colour and shape to our lives. In short, these communities give us purpose. Whether online or in real life, community is our backbone. As the National Alliance on Mental Health stated, “We’re social beings, and we are not meant to live in isolation. Community is critical for us to thrive,” as it fuels three crucial elements for our mental health – belonging, support and purpose.

Australian Government studies show that those without social support are five times more likely to experience a mental illness, and that community participation is strongly linked to longevity and the retention of cognitive ability.

How does it work?

When you engage with a functioning community, you become part of a wider group.  Life is no longer just about you, but involves others as well.  If you are part of a community, you could expect the other members to look out for you, and you would be responsible to look out for them, too. What works best for the good of the community is what will make your life richer too.

Where can I find a community?

Once you look around, you’ll find that there are clubs or groups to suit almost any interest. Sport is a common way for many people to connect. There is the activity itself and there is also the group of people who join you in enjoyment of the activity.  That common interest can create a community. As a rule, it is a two-way process.  You join in the activity AND engage with the other people.  You give something by your shared interest and perhaps your involvement in supporting others.  You gain something through the people you meet and the opportunity to help and be helped. 

Volunteering can also enhance the benefits of community by connecting you to a wider and more varied social network. You get to form relationships with people from disparate backgrounds and locations, enriching your experience and appreciation for your own life. There is always a shortage of volunteers. From bush regeneration groups to homeless shelters and to even the 2022 Biennale of Sydney, there is a wealth of experiences to be had. Furthermore, your community does not have to be physical either. You can be a part of a global community, for example a like-minded facebook group or the fan club of a band.

For parents, community can be a protective factor for children, as it can grant them a sense of value. It is especially important during teenage years, as these groups can allow your child to feel more comfortable and confident, reducing the likelihood of behavioural issues (BeyondBlue, 2021). 

So, this week, we implore you to take a second to appreciate all the communities you are a part of. We want you to reach out, and start a chat with someone in your community because even if you are feeling good, it is time to start feeling great!

The post The Importance of Community appeared first on Armchair Psychology.

source https://armchairpsychology.com.au/the-importance-of-community/

It’s December, which means it’s time for Christmas parties, summer holidays, and hangovers… Summer is an amazing time for many – and with COVID restrictions lifted, traveling and dancing with your friends has never been more appealing.

While this break is no doubt well-deserved, it’s important not to fall into unhealthy behaviours, such as excessive drinking, lack of sleep or even neglecting mental health issues. The good news is, there is a way to attend every social event without drinking every time, and this comes in the form of a ‘Nolo’ drink. 

What is ‘Nolo’?

‘Nolo’ in simple terms refers to drinks with no or low alcohol, but is designed to replicate or taste like one. The market for them has gone crazy in the past couple years, which comes as great news to those promoting healthy lifestyles. Most Aussie beer brands have launched their own Nolo products, such as Carlton Zero, Peroni Libera, Heineken Zero, etc, and there’s now even zero alcohol spirits and venues dedicated to these drinks!

As Aussies, we love our culture, but it’s often seen as strange to go without a drink at an event. Many of us can feel at a loss or not know what to do with our hands if we aren’t holding a drink, leading to us feeling uncomfortable. But if you have a no or low alcohol drink in your hand, you can enjoy the conversation and the party spirit, without regret.

We are firm believers of drinking in moderation to protect both your physical and mental health. That’s why we recommend trying out ‘Nolo’ drinks every now and then – especially if attending multiple events in a week. And no, we aren’t sponsored by any Nolo brands! 

Healthy Holiday Season Habits

When work starts to slow down for the year, it’s easy to fall out of exercise routines or neglect healthy eating. Of course – we all deserve a break this summer, but always prioritise your physical and mental wellbeing before anything else.

If you find yourself busy socialising or holidaying, remember to check in on how you are actually feeling and your inner dialogue, even if you think you’re feeling fine. Check that you are doing the right things in life to keep your body and mental health on the right track, like regular exercise (even if it’s just a quick walk), and self care.

If you feel you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, our psychologists are here to help. Get in touch today. 

The post Staying Healthy in the Holiday Season with ‘Nolo’ drinks appeared first on Armchair Psychology.

source https://armchairpsychology.com.au/staying-healthy-with-nolo-drinks/

Starting to feel like your weekends are suddenly overrun with social events again?

As Australia gradually comes out of a life of COVID restrictions, we find ourselves in a strange new normal; many of us are still working from home or keeping up hobbies we picked up over lockdown, but our social lives have increased ten fold – and some of us are already burnt out!

It’s understandable, we’re all excited about the prospect of catching up at restaurants or bars and travelling, but some of us have slipped back into unhealthy habits trying to balance every aspect of our exciting new lives. If you’re feeling any level of social anxiety or feeling overwhelmed, it’s important to take action to ensure we are maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Here are our top 5 tips below.

 

• Prioritise

Whilst our new lives are exciting, too much socialising can lead to neglect of other important things such as work, exercise, downtime, seeing family and eating well. It’s tempting to say yes to every offer but maintaining a healthy work-life balance requires sometimes saying no! Prioritise which aspects of your life are the most important to you and your future, and if feeling overwhelmed, think about what hobbies or events you could miss until your health is back on track.

• Organise

Having a good organisation system is a great way of keeping a healthy balance of work, hobbies and socialising. Tools like a phone calendar or daily to-do lists not only help with negotiating a busy social life, but assist in motivating you to complete certain tasks before undertaking your favourite hobbies or going out.

• Make room for personal time

Even if you’re an extrovert, making sure you spend time on self care is a crucial way to prevent burn out or a lack of motivation. Set time aside each week to do something you love on your own, such as reading a book, going for a walk or watching your favourite movie. This will help you feel refreshed and ready to start a new busy week of work and socialising. 

• Stick to set work hours

Sticking to the normal 9-5 is easier said than done when working from home – and lockdown life has slowly merged the work and personal lives of many people. As we adapt back to normal and start to go back into the office, it’s important to keep work and personal hours separate to avoid unhealthy habits. 

• Look after your body

For some, lockdown removed the opportunity to exercise, and for others, they were exercising more than ever. One thing we’ve learnt is the importance and benefit of staying active and eating well for both your physical and mental health. Our new busy schedules sometimes mean that we forget or think we don’t have time to do this. Remember, you can always make time to get outside and exercise, even if it’s just for 20 minutes in the morning or afternoon. 

If you are suffering from social anxiety or burnout and would like to seek professional help, contact us here.

The post Social Burnout: Maintaining a Healthy Work-Life Balance appeared first on Armchair Psychology.

source https://armchairpsychology.com.au/social-burnout-maintaining-a-healthy-work-life-balance/

This week is the 2021 Australian Psychological Society (APS) Psychology week where the theme is ‘Working Minds’, exploring the role psychology plays in the workplace.

As founder and a former President of the APS, this week has great importance to me which is why I’d like to share these tips with you today.
Remember to always put your mental health first – and think of ways you can start working towards better happiness in your job

The post Tip Sheet: Maintaining a Work/Life Balance appeared first on Armchair Psychology.

source https://armchairpsychology.com.au/tip-sheet-maintaining-a-work-life-balance/

In the past 18 months, the corporate world has been turned upside down – and not just financially. The pandemic has led to a huge shift in perspective for both employees and employers, with uncertainty surrounding career prospects, happiness and the future of the company looming over most heads. The recent lockdowns in Australia have also put a spin on our workplace priorities, and with workers going back into the office again, anxieties surrounding COVID are starting to creep back in. Most of us know that general mental health has suffered greatly in wake of COVID, but what we’ve recently discovered is that the subsequent focus on improving wellbeing – namely in the workplace –  is here to stay. 

 

According to this article, 69% of Australians now say they would turn down a promotion if it means compromising their mental health. What this tells us is that caring for your co-workers and employees is more important than ever, or you risk them resigning for a more supportive work environment. If you are a manager, it’s crucial you foster a healthy workspace for your employees, and allow them to feel like they can come to you to voice concerns about their workload or experiences. Even if they don’t, it’s still important to check in on your co-workers, to confirm that all is well. However, often it’s difficult to approach them in the right way, especially when working from home. Here are my suggestions.

Recognise the signs

 A few common signs of low mental health in the workplace could include:

• Decreased productivity or quality of work
• Low morale
• Greater level of sick days
• Fatigue or moodiness

Some signs of poor mental health can be hard to spot, especially if you don’t know much about their personal or social life. Keep an eye out to ensure their pain doesn’t go unnoticed. 

Start regularly chatting

Before you launch into discussion of the personal lives of your co-workers, make an effort to be observant first to avoid overstepping.The level of friendship between co-workers can vary greatly, so if you have noticed someone you don’t generally talk to may be struggling, it could be a good idea to get to know them a bit more first. This could start with asking them what they got up to on the weekend, about their family, or discussing outdoor hobbies. This way you can work up to checking in on them, increasing the chance they will feel comfortable opening up to you.

Ask specific questions

It’s quite typical for bosses or co-workers to ask a simple ‘how are you?’ in the morning, which is generally followed by a half-hearted ‘good’. To avoid this, show a genuine interest in their lives by asking something specific such as ‘how is Oscar going with the home-schooling?’. This can help build a deeper relationship between co-workers and therefore healthier relationships.

Work to guide potential solutions

If the issue that is causing concern is in the workplace, often it can best be worked through with someone who also knows the environment. Assist your employee to talk about the issue with you or a suitable colleague then together, workshop strategies to deal with the issues – whether that may be having a hard conversation with a manager, or thinking of a different way to approach a project. If the problem is due to issues outside work, perhaps a supportive chat will guide your employee to get the right sort of support, possibly through your employee assistance programme or an external psychologist. In 2021, it doesn’t work to just assist your people with issues from inside the workplace.  Home and work have merged and you may need to support them through other issues, if they are to remain a valued member of your team.

COVID-related anxieties

Whilst it may not be apparent on the surface, it is likely some of your co-workers are also experiencing anxiety associated with returning to the office after a long period working from home. This could either be surrounding the spread of COVID on public transport or in the office, or the social anxiety of being with many people after so long in isolation. Look out for signs of this in your colleagues, and check in if you think they are struggling. Ensure they have the right support to navigate returning to office life, including how they are managing their workload. It is recommended to allow employees the option of working from home 1-2 days a week to help with this adjustment.

Continue to check in 

After your initial check in, it’s important to stay observant to ensure that your people are receiving the right help. Look out for the signs we talked about earlier, and every now and then ask them how their situation is going and if there’s any more you can do to help.

Working with or for someone who genuinely cares can make a significant difference to workplace mental health. In 2021, it’s more important than ever that you check in on each other, not just to avoid resignation, but because you’re a team and connection is what keeps a team healthy.

 

Armchair Psychology services a range of Sydney-based and Australia wide corporations. We offer a number of individual, testing, assessment and workshop style corporate psychology services for employers and employees. See more.

The post How to Check in with Your Co-Workers appeared first on Armchair Psychology.

source https://armchairpsychology.com.au/how-to-check-in-with-your-co-workers/

When looking back at the past 18 months, there’s no doubt we’ve all been through many adjustments. Anxiety is at an all time high due to constant change, and there is much uncertainty around our short and long term futures. On the flip side, when you look back on this time period in a positive light, chances are your negative experiences have already made you a more resilient person than who you were in February last year.

 

Taking steps to improve your resilience can significantly improve your ability to get back on track after challenging circumstances. Yes, this is often easier said than done, but by taking small steps to work on this skill, you will find your mental health and outlook on life will slowly start to improve. Negative experiences are part of being human, and as much as we’d like them to, they aren’t going away. What we can change, however, is how we react and overcome them. I’ve collated five key tips on becoming a more resilient person.

 

Find a good inner circle

Having people you can talk to and confide in is very important when experiencing something difficult. Make the effort to strengthen relationships with friends and family, so that when you do go through something tough, you aren’t in any doubt about who you can open up to. If you feel like one or some of your current friends wouldn’t be helpful in that situation, try to strengthen other friendships. It’s important to have at least one friend or family member who can help you when times are tough.

 

Take lessons from the negative

When something bad happens, instead of searching for someone or something to blame and act angrily towards, think about what you’ve learnt or become better at as a result. Instead of feeling like a victim, ask yourself what you could have done differently next time as a result. If it’s something completely out of your control, embrace that, and remind yourself this situation is helping you become more resilient in the face of uncertainty.

 

Take steps out of your comfort zone

Everyone loves the bubble of their comfort zone, but if we never leave, facing something big will be even more daunting and harder to overcome. In your day-to-day life, think of small things you can do to step out of this zone – whether it’s doing that task you’ve been dreading, or making that phone call. Learning to take action can also help direct feelings of negativity to working on active solutions to help you feel more in control.

 

Embrace the uncertain

If there’s one thing the last 18 months has taught us, it’s to live with the uncertain. Many aspects of COVID-19 are out of our control, and we’ve had to learn to embrace that to get on with as normal a life as possible. Feelings of stress around uncertainty often don’t help anyone, so try to overcome this by exercising self-care and anxiety-reducing techniques.

 

 

Find ways to release tension

Make sure you have ways to express emotions and let go of tension when negative feelings arise. This could include talking with friends, family, or a professional, meditation and breathing exercises, or activities such as listening to music, running, reading, journaling or drawing. You may have something in mind that helps calm you down or make you happy, which when something difficult occurs, you can use to release any tension you are experiencing.

 

If you feel like you need to seek professional help to navigate a challenging or traumatic experience you may have had, please contact us.

The post 5 Tips on Becoming More Resilient appeared first on Armchair Psychology.

source https://armchairpsychology.com.au/5-tips-on-becoming-more-resilient/

Depression as we know, is a very common mental Illness. According to Beyond Blue, 1 in 7 Australians will experience depression in their lifetime, and 1 in 16 Australians are currently suffering from it. When trying to check on and help a person fighting depression, it’s really important you do so in the right manner to avoid making things worse. Here are my top 7 tips to keep in mind when checking on a person with depression.

 

1. Depression is not the same as feeling sad

One of the fastest ways to make a person suffering from depression feel worse is to tell them “you don’t even have anything to be sad about”. For most people living with long term depression, it isn’t a logical thought process but an emotional one. They may not be upset about anything in particular, yet they still feel down. Furthermore it might even be counterintuitive.
People can feel like no one really cares about them despite spending the day with people who clearly do. So it’s important that even if the reasons or lack thereof for a person to be feeling depressed don’t make sense to you, never tell them to get over it or shrug it off.

2. Just be there

One of the most difficult things to balance is making yourself available for conversation and inviting the person suffering from depression to talk to you, without forcing a conversation or being overwhelming for them. For someone suffering from depression it can be really difficult to talk about, as it exposes them more to their own emotions by having to talk about it. This is why constantly bringing up the state of their emotions and trying to force a conversation about it can do more harm than good. Be a listening ear and hear more than the words.

3. Be sure to check in on them regularly. Things can change very quickly

Depression and depressing emotions are unpredictable. Bad thoughts and feelings can come about almost instantly and irrationally, which is why it’s really important to check in regularly. If a person tells you they are feeling better and ok, you should maintain your supportive behaviours, so that there is no sliding back

4. Make sure not to be judgmental

Sometimes the problems that depressed people have may seem trivial or ridiculous to you, although they are very real for them. In a similar way that people with eating disorders may feel like they are overweight despite them being the opposite, people with depression can feel lonely or unloved despite that being far from reality. If a person with depression opens up to you about their problems you will only make them feel worse if you are being judgmental about their issues.

5. It is not your problem to solve

Trying to fix a problem when someone mentions one is an easy reaction to have for a lot of people. If something is upsetting a person and making them feel sad, your first reaction might be to help them fix it. The reason this can do more harm than good is because for the depressed person their problems are too difficult for them to solve due to their mental state, and if they could overcome their issues they would. By then suggesting easy fixes to their problems, it trivialises the issues that they’re unable to deal with making them feel worse. Instead when they come to you with their problems, listen carefully to them and ask what you can do to support them in the short term while helping to suggest ways to try to help them in the future.

6. Look for simple things to make their day easier 

Depending on your relationship to the person suffering from depression this will vary, but try to look for little things you can do to brighten their day. This can range from taking out the trash, getting them a small gift, sending them a positive message or helping them out with some kind of work they need to do. The goal of this is to do something that clearly lets them know that they’re important to you, and to lighten the load for them.

7. Let them know they’re not alone and that you’re there for them

Often people with depression constantly battle feelings of loneliness and isolation on a day to day basis, which is why regularly letting someone know that you’re there for them is a very valuable thing that you can do for them. If you haven’t had much contact from the person with depression for a couple of days, just letting them know you’re there can be a big deal for them if they’ve been having bad thoughts.

Depression is often a longstanding, and long-term issue that won’t be resolved overnight. Reading about depression yourself is very beneficial to try to understand it more. When checking on people with depression it’s easy to feel like you aren’t making any difference, but with sustained support you can provide a lot of help to the person coping with depression.

At Armchair Psychology we specialise in counselling for depression. Our Clinical Director, Amanda Gordon, has an innate ability to translate psychological wisdom into practical life skills. Highly relatable, Amanda is experienced in helping people deal with the full range of life crises, including managing relationships, coping with grief and loss, dealing with stress and managing change. She works with individuals, couples and families, helping them enrich their lifestyle and their effectiveness in the world.

 

To get in touch, give our practice a call on (02) 9362 3490 or book an appointment online

The post 7 Ways to Check on Someone with Depression appeared first on Armchair Psychology.

source https://armchairpsychology.com.au/7-ways-to-check-on-someone-with-depression/

This week, Amanda Gordon appeared as a guest in the Low Tox Life podcast, discussing resilience, boundaries and compassion with host Alexx Stuart.

‘Today we talk about resilience building, stress reduction, boundaries, have-to’s, and connection to others and our partners while we navigate the stickier points of partnership and equality. It is once again, a drink of common sense reminders that really do help move the needle in our modern lives, where we can easily disconnect from others and a sense of purpose.’

• Do you feel resilient?
• Maybe need to get back in touch with connection and purpose?
• Prefer to stay home than socialise with close friends?
• Issues with setting boundaries?
• Ever had a question around: How do we filter and preserve what are genuinely healthy connections to be building? Am I just being selfish by saying no all the time?
• Worried about letting connections go during busy parenting years with little people?
• Can we really have 700 friends?

To listen to the episode, click here.

The post Resilience, Boundaries and Compassion – Amanda Gordon on Low Tox Life Podcast appeared first on Armchair Psychology.

source https://armchairpsychology.com.au/amanda-gordon-on-low-tox-life-podcast-resilience-boundaries-and-compassion/

Grief- it’s a universal experience that tests our mental health in ways we never could have imagined. If you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one yourself, you know how hard it can be to bounce back into living a normal life. We often lean on family or friends for support, and often they are vital to help us on the first steps to recovery. On the flip side, as a friend supporting someone grieving, it’s hard to know what to do or say. It can be hard to know whether to celebrate the life of the loved one or help them to move on in their own time. It is a long road, but here are 6 ways you can start to help someone through the grief process.

 

1. Ask and Listen

 

First and foremost, it’s important to get a gauge of how they are feeling about their loss. Instead of starting with “How are you?”, think of reframing the question into something like, “How are you feeling today?”. This turns the conversation away from a casual greeting, into an acknowledgement of their loss and the resulting impact on their mood and feeling. Allow the grieving person to express their feelings in whatever way they need. 

2. Avoid giving advice or comparing it to your own experience. 

It’s hard to know what to say to make them feel better. You might be tempted to put a positive spin on the situation or offer your own advice in order to make them feel better, but this may lead to doubt that you recognise the gravity of the situation. It’s often better to listen and let them know you recognise how great  a loss this must be for them, and how painful the situation is. 

 

3. Offer to help out

 

A grieving person will often feel unable to complete small, daily tasks and a great way to show your support is to offer to help out with anything they need. This may include cleaning the house, helping with grocery shopping, cooking some meals, going for a walk with them. Little things like this let them know they have people in their life that love and support them, and even if they refuse, it still lets them know you are here for them. 

 

4. Be patient

 

Grief is a personal journey that differs for everyone. It may take weeks, months or years to fully move on from loss, so it’s vital that as a support person that you are patient. A grieving person may not know what will help them right now, so try to offer support in many different ways, and at different times. Don’t be pushy, but understand they may have changed their mind and are embarrassed to admit they need help. 

 

5. Share memories you have of their loved one

 

Sharing stories and memories of their loved one will of course be bitter-sweet.  In some ways, it is the best thing you can do for the grieving person.  The two of you can smile and laugh and cry together, remembering the good and the humorous and the bad – because the person who died lived a whole life, and all of it has to be grieved.  Your memories will add to the memories of the mourner, and she will see her beloved in a different light.  That’s not bad at all. Celebrate who they were as a person and how much they meant to the people around them.

 Don’t be scared to talk with your friend, or let her talk, as you keep the loved one alive.

 

6. Keep in touch

 

As mentioned, the grief process can vary for everyone, so make sure to keep in touch, even if it seems like they have moved on. Even months or years later, ask them how they are feeling about the situation now, and things they have reflected on. Always reiterate that they can open up to you, no matter how long it has been since they lost their loved one.

 

 

These tips provide a starting platform to help those you know who are grieving with guidance and support that they need. If you feel that your grieving friend may benefit from further counselling for dealing with the loss of a loved one, or if you notice that they are slipping into unhealthy behaviours towards a constant depressed state, then you should advise that they speak to a professional.

 

At Armchair Psychology we specialise in grief counselling. Our Clinical Director, Amanda Gordon, has an innate ability to translate psychological wisdom into practical life skills. Highly relatable, Amanda is experienced in helping people deal with the full range of life crises, including managing relationships, coping with grief and loss, dealing with stress and managing change. She works with individuals, couples and families, helping them enrich their lifestyle and their effectiveness in the world.

To get in touch, give our practice a call on (02) 9362 3490 or book an appointment online

The post 6 tips on how to help someone who is grieving appeared first on Armchair Psychology.

source https://armchairpsychology.com.au/6-tips-on-how-to-help-someone-who-is-grieving/

Losing a loved one is never easy. The shock and grief that follow news of a death, whether it’s expected or comes out of the blue, can propel us into an emotional tailspin. What happens to our minds and bodies when we learn of the death of someone dear to us? How can we best manage the additional load that can occur after a loved one’s passing – and how can that loved one minimise the load they leave? And when it comes to managing the estate, where can they – both will makers and beneficiaries – turn to for help? Amanda Gordon gives her insights.

Read the article here.

 

For more information about our grief services, click here.

 

The post Psychology of Loss appeared first on Armchair Psychology.

source https://armchairpsychology.com.au/psychology-of-loss/